Sun 19 May 1996 22:04
Date: Sun, 19 May 1996 22:04:50 -0700 (PDT) Subject: Audience xxxlovexxx or just Audience love
I apologize for this continued wierdness, but if you don't mind I will continue. I want to write, I need to have people to write to to whom I think the writing to matters. I have my parents and my sisters, a 12 year old cousin, and an 80 year grandmother, and you guys. Its just because we are closest experience wise (If in nothing other than our ages) that I think I want you guys, and all the women I've been (am) in love with, for what ever reason, and all the guys have listend to me.
I don't like this undisclosed recipient part, so here you all are:
Jenny L. Crook" <atlantis@u.washington.edu>,
Jackson Wilson <bushido@u.washington.edu>,
carmel@imap1.asu.edu,
colin leath <cleath@u>,
Caroline Benner <cmbenner@princeton.edu>,
Hannah L Rickabaugh <hlrickab@mhc.mtholyoke.edu>,
Jennah Kriebel <jkriebel@u.washington.edu>,
kotsya@u.washington.edu,
rchpbecc@u.washington.edu,
Stephanie Stone <stonesa@u.washington.edu>,
zabbott@u.washington.edu
I'll let you know when the list changes.
I don't advise sending email to people you have never seen, but as you know I have done quite a job of emailing people I do not know.
And as always email can be forged, you can never really tell what is real and not in this environ, and as always, people can lie, annoying to experience first-hand, but no big deal.
Whatever I send you or have sent you is yours to do whatever you want with it even send it to all the people I work with if you know their addresses, I don't want you to do that though.
Whatever you send me I probably won't use out of respect for your privacy, but as you may see I have broken that rule for some people whom I hope do not mind, I feel badly as I think about it, but. .they are old.
Kyle if you have any of the messages/letters I have sent you, I don't want them back, but if its email, and you still have it, send me a copy and if you have extra time scan in everything I've ever mailed to you and email me the scans. The worst thing you could ever do is send the letters back to me, unless you send yourself as well. I guess you know that though. The best thing you can probably do is just ignore this.
and everyone else if you want out of this let me know, if you want to set up procmail to sort your messages into different folders, and all of mine into /dev/null (delete them) , I can help you with that to.
There's 'love' in the subject header because every message with love in it will get copied to the page:
http://weber.u.washington.edu/-cleath/lovers
well, when you get to that page, click on 'end', and you'll see it
past is really past, and 'int' is nothing new, but maybe someday, I'll feel like adding to it--joyce has a good discussion of art in 'portrait. .
in 'past' is stuff I wish I'd organized, because there's a lot there, and some of the worst stuff is easiest to find, and some of the better is not
so close to the top, but lets not bother with that.
the page is passworded: use username 'shabbat' and password 'shalom'
I think that means 'welcome sabbath' or hello sabbath, I will find out it is what all the jews say on the pre sabbath meeting (the one I went to last friday).
the page is wierd and bad but since you are probably going to be my audience, you should probably know what's on there. I realize you can tell the password to anyone you want and show anyone, and that's fine also I'm not keeping logs (records that tell me if anyone visited), I'll let you know if that changes.
Oh, so don't send me mail with the four letters l o v e in that order (without, spaces) in the subject unless you want it automatically put on the web page. If you do want to post to the web page, then do that.
If you want out tell me.
I could set it up so that we could have a sort of discussion list, but somehow, I doubt you guys want that.
AUDIENCE CHARACTERISTICS:
All of the women have got to the point where they don't often answer an email I send them, some never have, that's fine, I think I'm through telling you all what I'm doing and trying to get you all to come along, but if you want to know, tell me.
Everything I'm doing because I wish you would do the same for me--please point out any inconsistency or any evil. Clearly I have little concern for my own privacy, but I don't want fame or notoriety, I don't want people bugging me who I don't want to bug me, I don't want people following me around whom I don't want to follow me around. That has never really happend to me, but If I fall in that category for you, tell me and I'll quit what I'm doing that's bothering you.
All of the guys listen to me and will answer sometimes, though, just checking now. ..maybe David (kotsya) does no longer.
I have stuff to say to all of you but, it is in an email I could not send and that was the original purpose of 'end', it's at the end.
I could go over who you all are, ...sure I will, just quickly
Zach I met while visiting Deep Springs college (a cool place, but there are only guys there, and not very many, and I didn't get in) .He wasn't a mormon then but now he is (see 'zach' for a poor written article from the daily). And Alida Purvez went to my high school it is funny that I would know them both, and then they would meet eachother, and it would surprise us all. Zach is a cool, normal guy, and I am just glad that he puts up with all this and still will run with me in the mornings. .I hope he still will, you're great Zach.
Jackson, I met because I was looking for the hiking club, back when I actually liked to do things and go places, and we went on a hike, then we went on another hike, a long one, on the coast, where he tolerated me and then he did a crazy thing! anyways, there is a little story inspired by this on the page. He's the only person who has visited my cheap house, and smiled through it (I'm moving) and he survived a viewing of the mealy worm potatoes. let me know if you want to see them, they may be gone already, as a new manager is cleaning the place up.
..i realize this is self centerd and shows nothing of the depth of character, but if you want that, later. .
David is a cool guy I met in physics, I hardly know him, but I talked to
him, because I felt like it matters to him.
let me mention the book the CELESTINE PROPHECY, its a silly book, but the feeling, and the way of thinking has a lot to do with a lot of this
I don't believe it, but the thoughts it caused keep coming back like the energy of each one of us is part of a whole, etc, even the cheesier parts seem to have some relevance now.
Becca I met at a service project, and she smiled at me, foolish don't smile at me so much or I will love you.
Jenna, I didn't love her at first, (well I wasn't in love at first, but then I talked to her one day)
I was just reading 'dire' and: extroverts are on average more happy whether alone or with others
Jennah you're in rwings, I think.
sorry, I think that stuff is good, am glad I wrote though I had no one to write to, this is not all about finding an audience, but that was a big part to get to writing.
Stephanie, I saw you today and smiled foolishly, hey, its cool that I actually get to see you
Caroline its all from 3rd or 2nd grade when we were normal friends.
Kyle, there's pages and you still are the most amazing to me from what little I learned that day, and you are I think, a part of all of this and because of who you were to me in third grade and still now, and well, I hope you're well. Its because of her that I have known what it is to be in love, and have known perfect (that's what I think now and ever since I left monterey the first time) content, well later.
She got the worst of it, or the best, well, no.
Jen, I wasn't in love with you, just loved, and you smiled and were nice
it's terrible that everyone that smiles and is nice, well, maybe not every guy is like this, or you'd have a hard time and I hardly ever saw you and I wanted to show you or tell you how much I liked your being nice and so I am., and in love,
hell, nevermind, I don't know what in love is, I love the guys, I'm not in love, although, I've been in love with guys, and maybe you guys later we can work on that definition.
Hannah, I saw you in the cookie factory, and you were nice, and like I said, and like all of you, I don't want to forget, I always want to know how you're doing where ever you go when ever, so I tell you and wait, maybe someday, don't let me lose your address.
You can look up adresses by ph#'s now, if you're listed: 'yahoo's people search' you can search all phonebooks in the US if you're listed.
That's everyone.
I'd' like to send separate messages, so I will, but if it gets too bad tell me.
Colin,
I toughen, worrying if anything will happen if I send, and because
nothing every really has, I will,
love.
.