Sun 19 May 1996 08:32
I need someone to write to-I
need someone to write to
.
Sat 18 May 1996 15:07
[note: it appears that this email, the one before it and the one after it was never sent to anyone--or the document has lost some parts. Verification with hard copy should be done someday.]
From cleath@u.washington.edu Sat May 18 15:07:59 1996
Status: O
X-Status:
Newsgroups:
Date: Sat, 18 May 199615:07:58 -0700 (PDT)
From: Colin Leath <cleath@u.washington.edu>
Reply-To: Colin Leath <cleath@u.washington.edu>
To: hello:
Subject: green
Lcc: "lovers --Jenny L. Crook" <atlantis@u.washington.edu>,
Jackson Wilson <bushido@u.washington.edu>, carmel@imap1.asu.edu, colin leath <cleath@u>, Caroline Benner <cmbenner@princeton.edu>, Hannah L Rickabaugh <hlrickab@mhc.mtholyoke.edu>,
Jennah Kriebel <jkriebel@u.washington.edu>, kotsya@u.washington:edu, rchpbecc@u.washington.edu, Stephanie Stone <stonesa@u.washington. edu>, zabbott@u.washington.edu
Fcc: ../public-html/lovers/sent-mail
Message-ID: <Pine.oSF.3.92a.960518122856.22834E@sau18.u.washington.edu> MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
For some of you its been a while, but all of you I think are familiar enough to not be too surprised.
I'm not too sure why I'm doing this, but there is time to think about that.
I think about all of you at different times, and this is one way to get it out of my system without trying to talk to each one of you individually. I would rather talk to each of you individually, but, let me go on.
I do have a lot of time right now, and I think I will be using it to write. I appreciate having an audience, however imaginary, so if you can tolerate a few extra messages in your box, that would be great. I expect you will also have to tolerate being written to in front of everyone else but that doesn't matter so much, I think. If you don't want this unsolicited email, please let me know, and that's fine. I did think once I would limit, and only speak of people who are present, but that can leave out a lot. Not everyone has email, and I'd like to maintain 'normal' relations with some people.
It is possible this could become a discussion, but, in truth I think all discussions should be in person. Not so much time should be spent trying to decipher a person through their emails. I may be saying I don't want replys, unless they are to arrange a meeting of some sort. This bothers me, I want to write to all of you to discuss these things in front of you, and I want you to tell me when I am wrong, I want you to tell me if you have anything to add. But I don't want to read, I only want to see a real live person.
I think this comes from wanting to know another person, from wanting to know what it's like to be you- why are you sad, why are you happy, why do you do what you do, what keeps you going, what you think you're doing here. I'm not really sure how it would work If someone actually felt like sharing herself. you could write if you do, I could be your audience as you are mine.
There is a sort of cure for this, just being with another person can do it
I am thinking of the complete existence, when you are completely and forever in love, simply, as I said before loving a person who loves you, or loving people who love you.
I am way out there when I think of what your concerns may be, this idea seems so distant that it doesn't really matter. But whatever I do, working, even a good mind filler which can distract me for a time, I still feel this.
It is sadness, and as it is sadness, I try to figure out what it is, and change something.
How many writers do we have here? People who write Caroline, myself, David, if you don't write often, you write beautifully, How many artists do we have here? People who make pictures Jackson has, once, I don't know if he still does I will on occasion, and Kyle, I like to think you are, but I don't know.
Do all of you sing, are you a musician?
I think all of you sing.
I wanted to say, Caroline, that it looks like I'll be studying journalism now, and liking it. How are you for this summer? What are you thinking about doing after this time? Since I sort of look to you as much more experienced in the field than I, I want to know what you think of it.
If you get a chance, read "Byline", its a collection of Hemingway's articles they are great, I think, better than a lot of his writing, and the editor did a great job. I've not read it all, yet.
from what you were saying, it sounds like you have already read a lot of him.
He wrote his life before he lived it but did he write his suicide?
Becca, you're here because you smiled at me so much that day and now I want, to know why. Or if you weren't smiling at me (I shouldn't think so) why were you smiling. I loved most of all when you were on the steps of the library talking to a friend, you looked at me I want to do something, but what can I do. I went on, and opening the door, looked back, and you were looking at me, that never happens.
-yes this sounds bad, feel the feeling you get when someone loves you but you can't help them, you love them, but you're not in-love, they are and you cannot help them.
I would say feel disgust some of the stuff I have written is so bad, it gives the feeling of disgust, reading it I think, why is a person like this, why do they think of these things, but go on.
Jen, I wanted to say how beautiful you were when you came in from the rain to that meeting, but I'm afraid I never will, in real life, some time, some people, I look at them, I cannot believe how beautiful, what can I do about it, what can I do with it artist.
I would like to take you all to see Evita, by Andrew LLoyd Webber, the best production of it, only. Let me know when, or get the best cd, a good sound system or even a bad one and close your eyes and listen.
Hannah, Zach and I visited Robb one morning at the bakery (Zach, I should have introduced you...I was happy to see him, ) I think he's a really cool guy he's not too healthy, and I wonder how long he'll still smile. He's a musician, or I'd say an Aficionado, thinks of Jazz, not of rock operas. So I am thinking, some of you think ALW funny, kitsch, fine. ok.
Caroline, yes I feel out of place with you so far (do you guys know what I mean? I don't think I'll ever know what a history precept is, much less read one, and dining clubs make me think princeton like oxford)
Stephanie, yes, here because you're different, I said it was so strange for you to be studying engineering, and the reasons why, I hope, you think were not the right reasons. It is, I think, because of the preengineers there are not many who love the idea of being one like you do (do you), they have been conditioned to it for years by their parents, schools, and teachers, and the general attitude of society.
Mr William Blake said, every man who is not an artist is a traitor to his own nature (or something like that) Blake, an enemy of Newton. But newton spent a lot of time on the occult.
for a lot of wierd stuff (actually, it's incredibly wierd, I just can't think of any reason to have any secret at all, except for the people they involve I should ask Kyle, I think (let me know if anything I've done would make you absolutely hate me, or just make you sad, jesus kyle, I
maybe that matters, but I have only myself to go on, ..maybe you'll think it no big deal) I should ask first, but would you answer
maybe you'll look at it and just be disgusted that's fine I am doing what I think I wish everyone would do I hate talking to a person and finding out nothing more than what music they like I just looked at it, and it reminded me to ask what your birthdays are, if you'll tell me I just want to know, to be fair mine is Jan 14.)
...for a lot of wierd stuff I hope your not curious about, and only if you want more of the feeling you have now (what is that?) :
http://weber.u.washington.edu/-cleath
hit 'past', the username is:
shabbat, the password is:
shalom
why did I password it?
I have some reasons, none of them very, nevermind.
there's an article on Zach, there but don't believe it it is the product of our school newspaper.
Jennah, what're you doing this summer?
finally, I hate 'undisclosed reciepients', so here you all are: Jenny L. Crook" <atlantis@u.washington.edu>, Jackson Wilson <bushido@u.washington.edu>, carmel@imap1.asu.edu, colin leath <cleath@u>, Caroline Benner <cmbenner@princeton.edu>, Hannah L Rickabaugh <hlrickab@rnhc.mtholyoke.edu>, Jennah Kriebel <jkriebel@u.washington.edu>, kotsya@u.washington.edu, rchpbecc@u.washington.edu, Stephanie Stone <stonesa@u.washington.edu>, zabbott@u.washington.edu
you all know to not trust (I always trust to the point of being made a fool of though) email, online stuff, etc. It is good policy to not send email to people you don't know I just don't send email to people I haven't seen. I don't know most of you. Caroline, I haven't seen you since 7th grade or so, and that was only for a day. .
Folks, Slowly out of time I'm not sure if I will ever send this I could just keep postponing it forever. .
I'll tell you about last night I went to my first "welcoming in shabbat" service at the hillel
Adar was there for the service part
.