Wed 21 Aug 1996 12:00
Well, I am sure. this is foolish but you are just as, if not more. The person I think about changes in time, and we live under the myth. The most valuable are those like denise and Molly with whom there is no myth, really. There is a misconception and until we leave it we cannot see and act as clearly. So for now there are no new ones, and what is the reality, what is the feeling, that there is something more, and why is it felt. So I see this person, and I really like her, what is that feeling. Just by seeing a little of her. But if she should go on and I should not see her, she fades, and those left by before, grow. Some it is time, and others it is sight, and I do not understand the sight.

Is it that we both feel the myth for whatever reason, at the same time.

I have denise to talk to for a few more days at any rate. We agreed that it is a misconception, but so, even though, we still have some hope of it. But if we realize what we can really have, and work for it, that is better.

I was thinking it is an attempt to create security in a changing world.
I was saying it is different because we do not have small communities, where we are there a long time, same people, to write this I have to ignore the people walking by and I lose. Subtle conversation, nonverbal communication, is a waste and cannot be developed in a short time amidst this change. Because the change is so quick I have to work hard for the people I do not want to lose, but in the end, the people who stay are the ones I am with most often.

For myself at least it is ridiculous to expect to live with another, because I am so different. What is sad, that, as in the intro to one of my cmu theory books, I am oppressed because the others do not share my awareness, and I do not have their awareness, they expect or wish for a certain myth in a certain environment, but it is not there.

So I was thinking of speaking to Adar about the Kibbutz, but as I am sure that is a myth as well, then what is the nature of our relationship. I would say it is to be together in the abandonment of all hope. I did dream Molly came back early and this was sad. Mollie. This of course sounds poor, but hope is the greatest myth, and I am taking the mystery that myth has taken since I cannot read Rolande Barthe's Mythologies. Myth is something untrue but which shapes all our actions and perceptions. It is illusion and misconception. It is perhaps no more invalid than any other way of looking.

In my cmu readings, an author spoke of behavioral settings, which trancend the existence of the individual and makes the individual act differently regardless of her intent. The way I act with the people I row with is very different from the way I act with those who come together to be together at this currently imaginary meeting I hope to have in the future.

Certainly if Lise and Kristen and whoever did come to such a meeting, such questions as I have about the unexpressed would not be long unexpressed, but to raise such an issue outside of this context would be a bold step, unusual step, and unlikely to be communicated effectively, and no doubt she would take it strangely or as something else. So I have made a case for keeping quiet and I am more strongly aware of the need for such a setting to allow for the communication I am most interested in.

A few more interesting Ideas. Was the concept of communicating with, not communicating to. There are on this campus some wierdasses in green coats, olive green, green hats and long pointy beards. These are the closed-minded sons of david. I expect the greatest problem with their attempts to communicate the meaning in their life, or what they believe is the meaning, is that they are communicating to, whereas, one can only communicate with. In this sense, television is not communication in many cases, I don't know what it is.

We have also simplification and exemplification as a means of indoctrinating the vedas in the common people.

We have the guy who realized the importance of open government. No secrets.

We have that the message cannot be separated from the medium, a new theory must be developed for each message.

We have that it is ridiculous to assume no point of view. We have that it is best to assume as many points of view as possible, all points of view, and use as many means of communicating the message as possible. But most of all, each new message demands a new way of communication, the message and the communication are not separate.
    

beth
dunder
kristen's breakfast

.