Sun 14 Jul 2002 08:51
death
o.k. I guess -rachel
whitehead, right eyelid
decaying, trashstrewn riverbank park still loved for its pool
sara is leaving she doesn't want to play anymore and that's fine or
maybe that's just my perception most likely that's just my perception
it is my default poor expectation something about smelly pussys on the
wall the deadness of the suburbs is a passive deadness an absence of
life here it is visible intentional non care and destruction disruption
of beauty sides of mouth sore from eating kiwis with skins on eating
old sprouts sclafani crushed tomatoesno concentrate or citric acid
brendan uses nedit to write pyddr brendan uses nedit to write pyddr
hello
hello
how are you
how are you
I'm fine
I'm fine
modem handshakes are less grating?
hello
hello
how are you
how are you
I'm fine
I'm fucked
and cashews
I live with a fucked person (anne) with fucked cats who fucking hiss
when I walk by and yet in spite of it all she now has a fucking hen in
her room that is fucking shitting all over her floor and in spite of it
all I have in the past found a reasonable (?) love of life
what was I thinking?
I should quickly, now, right away, hop, skip, jump, pirouette, leap,
fly off the top of this building, headfirst to the well-scrubbed
sidewalk below.
There are parents who pay the company surfcontrol
0909 sara rang
Yeah it's just me
she's still sick
the ishmael phenomenon
--
this so much wigs me out that my mood is so affected by
I was perfectly happy to wait and then as we were concluding she says, "Oh, you can call me later-
and so I did, thinking she wanted me to/was looking for something to do, but no, she was going to practice
I read a person's behavior one way and-
With joanna, I learned not to count on what she said, and that was fine
(eventually I'd see/hear from her again, and I wasn't too concerned
about the delay). That hasn't happened yet with sara. Already has a
little. When the time come for some one to love in the way I wish for,
I'd like someone I can count on like I can count on myself(?) babbling
here.
Oh Wee yam, Oh la la
and now, I'm done. I will see sara again soon, and I don't know what that means.
except that I will attempt to make myself more presentable than otherwise (?)
--
"don't forget your underwear's in the bathroom
"oh, thank you
--
because of bad piece of equipment
how many things must be learned the hard way who could tell me the 3c507xxxxwas bad?
1043
doesn't he see I'm saving a life here? what does it matter that henrietta shits on the kitchen floor? what an -.
2002-07-14-1830
Meaning Q's ws content continued.
I'm spaced. It's hard to stay focused on the meaning, vitality
questions/queries (quaker). Once I get a statement on the ws, I can
reread that statement every time, like with the being group.
keeping the goals of experiencing vitality and meaning in mind, consider the following questions:
what changes would you most like to occur?
in what way would you most like to help others?
if you do not find the goals and questions to be helpful, say why, and describe an orientation that would be more helpful.
The goal of experiencing meaning and vitality in mind.
consider:
what changes would you most like to occur? What action-
in what way would you most like to help others?
sara
why would anyone else want to spend time thinking about this question?
would what I'm considering have appealed to me at 20 when , save me some agony?
does it appeal to me now. How much do I love it? How passionately? How
easily do I forget it? Why did I consider and reject hosting such
discussion at H2k2?
focused lost, technology, tools.
computer.
1852 lots of work done?
How about some hours of absolutely nothing. Laying here, letting mind float.eyes rest.
We shall be able to do that.
action scenario: there is a sign, it says Meaning, Vitality
experienceartist.org
so, I visit the site.
What do I see?
I see an explanation. This site is about X. And you are encouraged to
join, and post your responses to the questions of meaning? and vitality?
and, I look through what some others have posted there. What have they
written? Is it of interest? The site says it doesn't matter what others
have written, it is the act of considering the question: what is the
path to meaning, vitality? Is that the best question to ask.
Now then, why would I join, and post some of my thoughts? Because I do
find it helpful to hear what others have said--I can read, in addition
to what others have written, follow the favorites of one individual and
(perhaps) also find those repsonses most linked to as favorite. Not
difficult.
So I see how their stories interest me, and I like to give it a go, so
I join, and I begin to consider the questions of meaning and vitality.
The web site also includes a note about a weekly unstructured meeting
place for those who have found out about the site and who wish to meet
some of the other attracted. We meet once a week, no structure at all,
what happens if anything is up to those who show.
There are other aspects to the site which are intriguing. People list
the greatest social changes they wish for, and also what kind of change
and help they are willing to give. As well as what kind of help they
might like to find from others, if they could have any kind of help
they might wish for.
I find it interesting to read about the social changes people most wish for.
I find it interesting to hear about the kind of work people are actually interested in doing.
Thus the site and the meetings might provide some sort of forum/mechanism for organizing social change.
(doing whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing) sara
we should be able to create a document which can handle all that.
so, for me, this site becomes a community of mutual teachers and
learners. It is a valuable resource, and every so often I might return
and look at what is new.
In short, the site is an encouragement of people to dream for better
and to make better happen. The ultimate better is defined: the
experience of vitality and of meaning.
If you're looking for help, check to see what help those who have
posted here would love to offer. And begin to consider the questions
yourself.
There could be three email lists- unmoderated, anyone can join.
unmoderated, only people someone chooses can join, and announce only.
A compilation of dreams, dreams for self, dreams for society.
This is close.
1926 new zealand aukland-
zack
2021
end zack
"If I don't talk to you before then I hope everything goes well with alida and your child-
2043 feeling the softness of sara
to remember
Oh yes, I think we did well today.
back to -
A compilation of dreams, dreams for self, dreams for society.
This is close.
so, we have a vision. oh.
What would I write? Let's prototype again based on what we imagined.
we'll work in a new document.
In short, the site is an encouragement of people to dream for better
and to make better happen. The ultimate better is defined: the
experience of vitality and of meaning.
--
no I'm not thinking with you-, but in general
yes, I am thinking with you, how would.
sometimes I turn off my phone at 9 o clock, even though I'm not going to sleep.
yes sara with you
love you
love you
hardest for me is when
I think I might see/hear from you, but I don't
you're trying to get into my pants
--
queries and practice
2145
.