Wed 24 Apr 2002 14:52
I'm excited. and have been since close to the end of swimming. I'm back
on a schedule of sleeping at night and being up at 5:30 to get to the
pool early and to have plenty of time to swim.
I'm seeing kumar at city college today at about 5:15 about computer science!
I was a little disappointed that carmen was not so chipper this
morning--'tired' but that's how she is--her subway ride with me is
perhaps not (always) the highlight of her day. It gets a bit dull that
she doesn't have tons to tell me everytime I see her. Not everyone is
like me.
Either she's quiet or there's parts of her that she does not discuss,
or she's deadened by the grind and her expenses/lack of perceived
freedom (chosen). Or, she's just not as excited about me as I have been
about her! Or she's somewhat depressed ("sorry, I was feeling like a
recluse this weekend.")
yech, I had a bit too much of those sardines.
I should ask her again, what she likes to do (besides ride the subway
with me, if that), "what was the most fun thing you did recently/last
week/last year?" (sound familiar).
I might also mention that I sent joanna a risky email (basically, if
our interaction can't take that kind of crime on my part, it's not as
valuable/not valuable? [still valuable-but it'd be nice to progress to
beyond the Mollie level of--basically I'm guilty of loving her not as
she is but of who she is becoming (ah, but she may not be becoming, she
may just be,)]), and have not heard back. The contents included the two
recent journal entries concerning primarily her appended. should check
the email account from which I sent it though (the reply to: may not
have been used)--quite possibly she will think nothing of it.
Interestingly, perhaps because it is an advice-giving email, I do not
want to paste it here and have to read it again (and again).
I overate yesterday at lunchtime, but not at dinner time! Today
overeating seems unlikely because I have only potatos, not a delicious
pot of hot quinoa, wheat, garlic cloves, and white cabbage. I also have
sardines (not an issue), sunflower seeds (haven't been an issue yet),
brewer's yeast ("), white cabbage, tomato paste. Nothing too dangerous
there--though it is satisfying.
This morning after waking up was a regular nose-picking fest--perhaps
because there is much to harvest at that time of day or because the
bodymind in that recently awakened state is more likely to get stuck in
such mindless, repetitive activities (e.g., I can still feel something
there, if only I could take care of that bit, I'd be done!). Still too
early to tell if I'm getting better about this.
Checking over last details-- a girl on the subway who looked familiar was probably familiar from dancespace.
The life we are given: George Leonard, Michael Murphy. 1995
p 42
2002-04-24-1636
Napping for a little bit--still need to go to sleep earlier
2002-04-24-1826
Oh, I've made mistakes...
The life we are given: George Leonard, Michael Murphy. 1995
p 42
from http://extremeprogramming.org:
Make sure everything is expressed once and only once.
Make it work, make it right, then make it fast.
Unit tests enable refactoring as well. After each small change the unit
tests can verify that a change in structure did not introduce a change
in functionality.
from:
http://mitpress.mit.edu/sicp/full-text/book/book-Z-H-4.html
If art interprets our dreams, the computer executes them in the guise of programs!
Every reader should ask himself periodically ``Toward what end, toward
what end?'' -- but do not ask it too often lest you pass up the fun of
programming for the constipation of bittersweet philosophy.
It is better to have 100 functions operate on one data structure than to have 10 functions operate on 10 data structures.
First, we want to establish the idea that a computer language is not
just a way of getting a computer to perform operations but rather that
it is a novel formal medium for expressing ideas about methodology.
Thus, programs must be written for people to read, and only
incidentally for machines to execute.
The computer revolution is a revolution in the way we think and in the way we express what we think.
Well-designed computational systems, like well-designed automobiles or
nuclear reactors, are designed in a modular manner, so that the parts
can be constructed, replaced, and debugged separately.
``Recursive Functions of Symbolic Expressions and Their Computation by Machine'' (McCarthy 1960).
2002-04-24-2231
scheme -band 6001
since I'll be attempting to speak with the chair of the CS dept at CCNY
tomorrow, I spent some time with programming work/reading. It is later
than I should be up but in half an hour, the lights will be off.
I have faith that this kind of work is for me. It is quiet, solitary,
and the pace is generally up to me. Social experience will come from
work/school to some degree/interaction with the languages/programs,
quaker meetings and perhaps ITP groups and occasional dance classes.
And that is a life. Simple, engaging. meaningful. Peaceful.
Tomorrow, I'll attempt to install linux? dualboot? It will be a lot of
work--would prefer bsd... if I had a cd burner?--Let's just try the rh7
following instructions, add gvim, zope, scheme, and way to get at ntfs
partition. If no grub on the 7.0 we'll bag it until get 7.2 cd. In
addition can look for 7.2 rh iso image--yeah, I'll do it quickly- if I
find it- I'll put it on the laptop, let kerin burn it? yech, I don't
want to bother.
o.k.
Now-, for what I've been waiting for-- a reason to stay up all night, so I can finish, some very important stuff:
How to do this kind of work healthily? Would Like to get to the point
where I can just work with languages, not all this *(*#$& os
config. Scheme, python... I should get on RH then. O.k.
o.k.
Philosophy is going by the wayside, along with it the 17 books.
I will finish: the life we are given
at a journal workshop. that is it.
I did lie about sleep time, but as I read the bible...
The life we are given: George Leonard, Michael Murphy. 1995
p 42
The Eight ITP Commitments:
1. I take full responsibility for my practice and for all
tranformations of my body and being that flow from it. While respecting
my teachers and fellow practitioners, I fully understand that I am the
final authority.
2. I seek to join in community with other ITP practitioners. While
maintaining my individual autonomy and authority, I commit myself to my
ITP community in vision and practice. I understand that just two people
can make a community. I also know that I can create a community through
electronic networks, or even practice alone, bolstered by the greater
ITP community.
3. I do the ITP Kata at least five times a week. I understand that,
time permitting, I can lengthen any part of the Kata, and that extended
periods of meditation at the end of the Kata and at other times of the
day are recommended.
4. I accomplish at least two hours of aerobic exercise every week in
increments of no less than twenty minutes. (Three hours a week in
increments of no less than thirty minutes are recommended.) Three
sessions of strength training a week are also recommended, but there is
no commitment on this.
5. I am conscious of everything I eat. I am aware of the many benefits of a diet low in fat and high in fiber.
6. I develop my intellectual powers by reading, writing, and
discussion. I thoughtfully consider the visions and the readings set
forth in chapter 12 and, commensurate with my own best judgement, seek
to integrate cognitive understanding into my practice.
7. I open my heart to others in love and service. I stay current in
expressing my feelings to those close to me and take care of my
emotional needs in appropriate and healthy ways, seeking counsel when
needed. [see ch. 13]
p 191 ch 13
p 192
--listeners who are interested and who really care about others,
--listeners who are willing to forego ego and the need to spout opinions,
--listeners who seek neither to add to nor to take away from what is being said,
--listerners who are patient and willing to withold judgment for a while,
--listeners who can say, "Yes, I really hear you"--and mean it.
Colin! Progoff.
When I tell people something, do I wish they'd react in that way? How do I wish they'd react?
Oh, me--
8. For each six- to twelve-month period, I make at least one
affirmation having to do with significant positive change in my own
being. I also make the following affirmation:
"My entire being is balanced, vital, and healthy."
I include by affirmations during transformative imaging in my Kata and
seek in appropriate and healthy ways to realize those affirmations.
my entire being is balanced, vital, and healthy.
p44 be patient. You're in this practice for the long haul.
I'm not patient, and not sure I wish to be, or want others to be--I wish to be patient when not being patient does no good...
p45 primacy of practice.
p47 there are geniuses of love and of service to others, geniuses of
spiritual radiance and understanding, geniuses of extraordinary and as
yet undefined abilities-
p47 the inevitable human resistance to change.
p50 your resistance to change is likely to reach its peak when significant change is imminent.
I'm not sure I have the patience to read the whole book. but I will
focus on, "My entire being is balanced, vital, and healthy." and
perhaps on finding other NYC ITPers.
I can probably make it through it bit by bit, slowly.
2355 too late.
.