Wed 15 May 2002 14:26
just removed offending sections from yesterday.

there are some things I don't wish to see again though I did think them once.

If it's not obvious, Things are not well

tomorrow morning

tom's biking to michigan/ minnesota. last summer, across the us.

Carmen was nice to see this morning.

languid. [i now]

he said he took the old ???? road. [post?]

what does it take to want to stay in one place? to want to do the same thing?

I don't have it.

it's clear to me how mentally I can make a big hole for myself, depending

the world becomes the way one looks at it.

the world becomes the way one sees it.

easily see downhill

from the beginning of writing yesterday. to now. my focus has totally changed. sara, women, are not a concern at all (though it will be good to see sara this friday-should that occur.).


can easily see.

write your future.

Colin does this and that and then that and then.

that.


prosody
phonemes

1657
I have a hyp about what went wrong...
the sara issue wishing I could somehow fit myself in to her realm.
But I'm not. I had already progressed beyond that with C & J.

Combined with issues of moving and such.

I was creating a plausible future story line.

but it's gone.

 and this is who I am. In two hours I will go out for two hours. Come back, and then sleep, and then get up at 4:30, and wander around, like the old, old, days.


tomorrow, I will go to metropolitan pool and get a new membership there. I may swim at carmine pool after work from now on. To get somewhere different.

I may have to try the george & george strategy of charging tons of money for my art, but (art!)

what the hell.

2002-05-15-2125
I wrote
goals:
(1) finish website-
everything  current.
(2) sept- start cuny comp sci masters prep work $1000 -> 2 classes.
good.

visit staten island (3)
sun- quakers
(4)
(5) buy newstart cookbook

p 51 from _the life we are given_ leonard and murphy

Better to play the edge of discontent, the inevitable escort of transformation.

p52
dedicate yourself to lifelong learning. to learn is to change. the best learning of all involves learning how to learn--that is, to change. The lifelong learner is essentially one who has learned to deal with homeostasis [resistance to change], simply because s/he is doing it all the time. Lifelong learning is the special province of those who have a profound practice, those who travel the path that never ends.

Well," Hogan said. "The more I practice, the luckier I get."

p53 (the powers of affirmation)
I enoy a profound empathy for other peopel that sometimes appears to be telepathic.

p54
Think about your affirmations for a couple of weeks or more. Do they really fit your desires? Do you really want to commit yourself to these particular affirmations?

I, Colin Leath, intend to see that the following circumstances have occurred by [a date six to 12 months from now]:"

We recommend that you make no more than four affirmations for any period, whith this last affirmation: "my entire being is balanced, vital, and healthy." We would not want any affirmation to be realized at the cost of balance, vitality, and health.

read them carefully, and sign them.

we recommend that on the same day you make them you also make a written record of your present condition in the areas covered by the affirmations.

on the due date, make the appropriate measurements. and again make a written record.

p66
we have learned that our students generally best realize their affirmations by practicing Focused Surrender. This practice combined strongly imaging a desired outcome in the present tense, as if it already was happening or had happened, then totally surrendering to grace.

Duane Elgin's 1973-1975 at Stanford Research Institute, telepathically influcing a magnetometer.

p68: instructions for FS, with breath, with hand, with mind image.
p69 focus on silence.

p71:
As you go about your daily life, for example, you might simply act as if an affirmation has already been realized.

By repeatedly exploring these as if conditions mentally and emotionally, you can set the essential personal context for the change that's underway.

p72checkpoints -
ribbons, color, reminders. work, home
every time you pas one of these reminders, say an affirmation silently or aloud. Bring an image of the affirmation to mind. Act as if in some way it is already realized. Perhaps the words, the image, the as if state of being will stay with you for more than a short while as you carry on with your daily life.

p72
we can reawaken to the miracle of existence.

we can reclaim the feeling of wonder we held so carelessly between our hands on summer days when we were very young.

p74
ITP kata can be performed in forty minutes without hurrying.

In the morning

You can be reasonably sure other people are going through the same sequence of movement and experiences.

p75 If you persist, you will in all likelihood arrive at the day when it is easier to do the Kata than not to do it.

Kata ranked second, just below affirmations, in perceived value.

p75. In performing the kata, think in terms of months or years, not days or weeks.

To shift from short-term to long-term thinking and acting is to gain what might well be the most important lesson this training has to offer.

!!!

p103 - Newstart lifestyle cookbook
Those countries with the highest incidence of osteoporosis have the highest intake of dairly products!

p75 the life we are given
balance and center --GRACE

tomorrow morning, I shall do the ITP kata.
perhaps I can finish this book tomorrow?
.