Fri 21 Jun 2002 16:33
My morning work reminds me that Hal has found his place, he is good at what he does and he loves what he is doing. It reminds me that I should be elsewhere, but where?

I've been plusing calories rather than minusing recently, I'm guessing, because I've been at home in the afternoons, where I can eat, eat, eat. Instead of in that cold and silent office.

with limited food.

thoughts of eckerd youth alternatives

back to the ecovillages. vitality arbiter of

wishing to build something with someone v. wishing to wander more.

(1) finish web site.
(2) devote free time to next step. alternative work.
.

Thu 20 Jun 2002 14:31
I feel very good, maybe slightly allergic (soymilk effect?), but energetic.
needing to stretch. effect of run?

knowing someone is thinking about you

did not eat so much yesterday that I was spitting it back up like I might have thought would occur...

needing to get one's muscles feeling right, not sure how--need weights?

love

1709 I'm getting better with some cool songs on the violin, and in tone, and with scales. The dance method of learning: do a lot, quickly, not stopping to dwell, every day, over and over again. At first you'll get 5%, and slowly you get more, the body learning a lot somewhat unrelated to the conscious effort one puts in trying to make it perfect. The next day you come back, you're better able to do it... The progress occurs in the in-between times,..

2156
I'm thinking about teaching English in France--applying this September, and being there October 2003 - April 2004. I know there will be drawbacks, but its a 12hr workweek, so not like the grind in Italy. And it gets me back to a less car-centric part of the world.

You know- That could be just ...

enough time to find a way to get stuck over there?

there is some sort of mystery bug biting the hell [not really] out of me. I'm going to have to start wearing all my clothes, socks, like I was when I was sleeping/living outside again. There aren't good screens on the windows here, anne?

Two septembers from now?

ask hal how long the grant would last.
assuming I don't get fired!

a good bail-out in case I don't find other exciting plans. Something to look forward to. Though I know the reality of it... much free time. Perhaps isolation? But I shall have my violin! And Swimming, and dance.

if sara?

well, would she work in Europe? she could. if she wanted. But I think she likes alaska. I am drawn to Europe, and non-us. So, I guess that means

g-d- unlike those who could never travel alone, I can't comprehend travelling with someone.

so much of a loner.

I've got to get into spain.?

all of these are small places compared to here.

really, I'll still have the life-work issue. I should be able to make progress on that. at times like now, when I get done rambling, overeating, sleeping.

need to have a future to look forward to!

primary school kids?

books to read. Time. peace. very nice. having to register with the police at towns and all that.

In the meantime

hm. they ask for two letters of recommendation... where can I get number two?
Jerry, Mike.

[too bad I was fired from teaching english in italy!(?)]

In the meantime.



2250 appreciation of self exercise for dadletter:
Colin:
self:
I appreciate that
(1) You exist
you are alive. You are capable of perceiving and acting.
You could be a stone, but in this case, you are not. What an amazing thing.

I have arms. I have a nose. a wrist, a back, a foot. forearms.

not doing very well here

I have a penis, a, yes. though that word doesn't get me excited. but then neither does dick, or cock, richard isn't bad. John Thomas? What was that British name?

do I have fleas to appreciate? I hope that's not what those mystery bugs are.

I appreciate that theres a swimming pool I can swim in. I have a computer and a web site.

colin, I like how you---

this seems so foolish

are not paying tons of tax to the US gov't to fund their roads, ag subsidies, military, bureaucracy, dare I say welfare? would I mean it?

how only one of my feet itches from the mystery bug.

how my nose is only somewhat sniffly from some allergy like symptom. How the adverse effect of todays overeating have for the most part subsided.

Oh so much to appreciate!

no, I don't appreciate things like intelligence, beauty,

I do appreciate physical fitness. I appreciate that I've done a reasonably decent job at that.

I think this is stupid!

On to what I appreciate about my dad... on the letter.


0028
How one-sided is it that I've been thinking of sara in those/these ways?

Has she been thinking? How has she? What would she write on a postcard? Her first written communication...
.