Mon 01 Apr 1996 20:40
I will give up putting all my notes in here and just write. Defining words and reviewing notes is fine, but writing is better. Read RLS' An apology for Idlers, and I've started Thoreau's Walking. Art & Physics is an interesting review of culture and history so far.

If you somehow think I know how to take care of myself, you're not quite right. I'm not sure what at all to do. I don't really ever want a real job. I don't want to have to take a normal class. If I do take any more I think they will be language classes. I thought of leaving, but am worried that if I leave I will feel as I did before I came here. I get enough of people here, but it seems I would rather read, or think by myself, or observe those who do not know me. It is fine just to say hello to a guy, but beyond that I'd rather be doing my own thing. I don't want to do my correspondance classes even though it is good for my writing. I will probably finish that one, but not the math one. Thoreau wonders about people who sit around all day; he likes to walk about 4hrs /day. I think I should go to a place where there are less cars and more parks, like, I'm guessing Arcata, CA or Mt. Desert Island, Maine. But I don't know what I'd do, I can't think of what I'll do, and I guess as long as it is easy to stay here, I will. I guess I will be working on writing.
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