Sun 16 Jun 1996 18:20
cool- looks like I get to take a philosophy of art class this summer- with
32 others, and it's 5cr giving me 20 for the summer, we'll see if I
survive
speech communication
.
Sun 16 Jun 1996 16:55
I printed out 'Leaves of Grass' by whitman- I was going to buy a book for
a few dollars- but I could not decide, and this is free- but I did not
think it was so long- the stack of paper I have is an inch thick and I
printed on both sides, anyways.
I can't think of any classes to take fall quarter- except languages
.
Fri 14 Jun 1996 17:18
Taking out the letter from Steph I included in the below- decided that's
not a cool thing to do, however nice for me and the reader
heck I don't want to take it out, but I should ask for permission I
suppose.
read Capotey's IN COLD BLOOD all morning to get it out of the way.
.
Thu 13 Jun 1996 20:47
Well, it hurts, I want to go on, to live but I keep thinking or whatever.
Can you help me.
I'll start from a while ago after I wrote that last stuff but I don't feel
like doing this so much.
I had written the last one, and then felt nothing more than like picking
lint balls off the floor.
My mind was quiet for a little while, but that thursday, I went home and
was reading, I was reading the book Brett had asked me to read, and I had
also got copies of 'notes to myself' and 'the art of loving'
I was laying in bed reading then I stopped and started to cry or
something. I'm not sure why- but some thing made me ask if I ever would
feel like marrying anyone again, after chris- something like that. I felt
a little foolish after talking with leo the creationist, who explained
that most people followed the extentialist Idea of things, basing the
whole significance of their life on a past event, like a car accident.
Leo's not too bright, but so what.
Some time before or later, I was reading an emily dickinson poem about
rememberd stuff, and if we still remembered it forever, there was
something really there worth remembering, or something like that.
So I cried thinking I would never have that feeling again with any person
ever any other person. With her I felt I could love to marry her, love to
have a family love to be sort of normal.
I cried because my whole life was based on that little time I had been
with her. And what is my life any more.
A little later, I said the most significant experience of my life, most
exciting, etc, was being with her, when I was in third grade.
So a little later I left and went somewhere, and then went to check email.
I had gone boating with Tammy and Sharon the day before, no that was
next wednesday.
I had seen Sharon the day before.
She had written me an email..
Date: Thu, 23 May 1996 14:20:26 -0700 (PDT)
To: Colin Leath
with nothing in it.
then another:
;;cut just my attempt to not annoy people that their writing is in here
without me asking- I really don't think it matters that it is, but I have
to think some more.
I'll always remember "like an Idiot"
and I wrote:
From cleath@u.washington.edu Thu Jun 13 21:07:30 1996
Date: Thu, 23 May 1996 21:21:56 -0700 (PDT)
From: Colin Leath
Subject: Re: Oops...
Oh Sharon, I think it's better to try to say something than nothing at
all.
I have two letters that I didn't send to you--I just take out the address
if I don't want to send it, and send it- and it goes to my sent mail only,
so I remember all my floundering efforts. Actually, that night, I gave up
the email and called, you weren't there, so I sent you that short one,
Thursday, May 9.
I could call you right now,
I am so glad you did send,
Its so good to be with you because you do talk,
I'm just trying to understand what's going on here with me, and what I
guess everyone else feels too, but don't often tell.
I would call you and ask if you'd go for a walk this weekend, or a sit, a
sit actually. I know though, it would be so 'awkward' unless we both
agreed it'd be awkward, and both wanted to do it. I think it is those
times when I am most insecure (i say 'I' instead of we) when I ride waves
of emotion, and that is exciting, its a high, it is when I live
most. Its not like we'd say anything or do anything, in fact I have no
idea where to go from here, and all I do now is ask (hypothosize) about
that.
I don't know how far I can go, or how free I can be, the greatest problem
is my perception of myself at anytime, How I guess I am percieved and how
I feel. I want to think where this is going and where it can go.
I usually have all of Thursday free to do what I want, so its an
interesting day of the week, if I haven't saved up any boring stuff to do
what do you do when you do what you want?
It felt good to see you yesterday, because I have been incredibly open,
extreme even, and you still accept me (you were nice), it is so good to be
accepted with all of what I would not usually talk about, but what is so
much of who I am.
I think it is the same with most people, there is so much to most people,
people are the most beautiful part of life, so far, though, it is not easy
to know a person well enough to see how beautiful she is.
to be crude (comparing a human to art, when art is only created by
humans), and I may have said this before, a person could be like art,
each person, a masterpiece, expressing some aspect of our society, yet
most beautiful as an individual, but how do you appreciate that work
(individual)?
We could go back and compare our perceptions of
eachother from the very first time, what we thought the other was
thinking, what we thought of the other, how we thought the other was
feeling, if we thought at all, and times like when I was trying to email
you. Though I sort of feel that's a distraction from something more
important (I don't know what, maybe you talking?), its an idea of
something to do though.
too long, I know,
hope to see you soon,
Colin
have a good Friday-
that's what happend that thursday
friday, i don't know what i did, I worked in the afternoon
that thursday night there had been a jewish thing where they stay up till
5 am or so- I went by till two, and slept in that friday
-well just spent half an hour or more talking to Karlv meister about him
hiking- at first actually I asked him some cool questions about
girlfriends and lonliness-
"nah I'm not pitifully lonely or anything, I actually like to be alone"
Well, when will I get over this-
enough of this, I'm going home, I want to get a computer at home so I
don't have to mess with this lab business, though its good to see some
other people.
later,
Colin
actually, I want to keep going.
I don't know what I did that Friday night, I don't remember and cannot
figure it out.
I don't know what I did that saturday, but I worked that evening, I guess
Sunday I remember- I ran downtown to the Folk life festival and no one was
there because it was so early. the crows swooped at me as I left.
I came back and stopped at the payphone to call home- only mom was there,
or so, and I had forgotten her Birthday- lost in my own thoughts with out
calendar. I wanted to say why or what I was thinking, but started to cry,
I wanted to say something like "i'm sad because you won't be here allthe
time and I don't know what to do about it, and that I wanted to be with
friends of my own more, and hoped and thought about that more, and so I
forget what may be more important" I couldn't cause I was crying- told
her about Brett and she said, you should go- I wasn't thinking I would ,
but I realized I had nothing else to do, and though it did not look like
my kind of place, what else was there for me.
I left the phone and cried some more (how sad) I was walking back up and
saw Keegan, and my eyes were maybe a little red- he is a black guy who
came to some of my windsurfing classes. I saw myself in his eyes, me in
my white shirt and hat reflected in his black pupils and we talked nicely
for a while, he's really friendly , before I went up the hill to my house
to shower I think and catch the bus down town.
There I saw Brett selling T-shirts to a guy in a cowboyish hat, then said
hi, asked when she got off, and gave her my stuff so I could go play in
the fountain.
the fountain is cool when its on.
so I got all wet, then sat around to dry- saw a nice looking girl and
wanted to say hi, but didn't,
like today, I was walking here from the IMA, saw a nice looking girl
walking up 'rainier vista' or whatever its called. She stopped took off
her sandals and walked on the grass barefoot.
I went on into the herb garden.
Drew some people for a while, then got cold, so I put on my rain jacket
and wool hat. It was a nice sunny day.
went over and lay on the grass, and tried drawing another girl for a
while, but she would move or look at me.
then I just lay there
then some drum players came, and a guy invited me into this little drum
circle and gave me a tamborine, and I tried,
then we moved to a different spot, and got going pretty good, and people
were dancing and singing sort of, and I sort of tried to be with it, and
sometime maybe I was.
About 12:45 or som maybe, I left to see if Brett was off, She got off and
we went over to the grass and talked for a while. A little about the book
a little about her. I can elaborate.
We moved to a quieter place, and watched the Tehualpan dancers, I saw
tammy. We were talking about people. Gave her some sunscreen.
She got something to drink- we talked a little about God (symbolic)
We walked around some more. She got some overalls before we left, then we
walked downtown to the bus stop, and rode the bus back. I think we got
something to eat in the dorms, then went sailing a little bit, before I
ran off to work that Sunday as a sub for someone.
Monday was a holiday, and I met her that morning after running to the
arboretum, in the herb garden- she had scheduled a party (work party) and
we sat around while noone showed up and moved some stuff, and talked and I
think I broke the subject of lonliness or sadness, started to share that
basic stuff. She had been there since early just thinking, I guess. We
went back to my house, and I took a shower and looked for a crazy book, I
could not find (jon van saun) while she was waiting, cold on the steps.
We walked to her dorm room I think, she got some stuff maybe, like a
sweater, she stopped to get money at the atm, then we went to the college
in cafe for breakfast. We stayed there for a long time talking about
dreams (the ones you have at night) plans, whatever, in time we had to go,
me to work, her to folk life, and I said, let me give you a hug, and I
did. Went off smiling.
Sat in the library for 2 hours, doing nothing, I think
don't know what I did then, not sure, maybe painted the painting for mom.
I called Brett before I did that though, and sometime In there I went and
'read her a bedtime story'
the first night I think I just tried to make one up, the second night I
think I brought notebooks of wierd stuff I'd written, and she showed me
some of her poems she never shows anyone but Cara.
I had to work tuesday 12:30 to 3:30 and then went to the last intro to jud
class, I guess, or no I did not have one so maybe I went to visit-
wednesday, I worked all morning and only got over there late or so after
rowing around with tammy and Sharon.
Showed brett the picture
Am I wasting my time with this? could I be doing something real? (I call
home to see if Proctor has left a message)
Thursday I did not have to work, we met and went to the post office, and
she said it was my day. We walked around, through ravenna park, we
stopped on the bridge, played on the swings, and on the log roll thing.
We walked through the park, to a bench, she told me her life story or so,
(I had told her earlier). Lay with head in her lap, then just hugged her.
We mostly sat there and just looked at eachother, actually I just wanted
to stare at her, but she was not so happy with that, and what did we say?
We played with eachothers hands.
After sitting a long time, we left because David was comeing to help me
move. She and david helped put all the stuff in his van then in the
storage room in my new house.
We, after some painful indecision went to a mexican food place of David's
choice. David told us some crazy stuff. Then we walked on the railroad
tracks. After an annoying car ride- city rides are like that, david let
us off, and took off.
We walked down the Burke museum and sat on a bench- we were both tired
because we had stayed up so late the nights before reading eachother
stuff, or something. I don't know what she wanted, and what did I say?
Maybe she'll remember- she got up suddenly and made to leave- She
stopped looked back, I was sitting there surprised or something- and said
what? and said when could I see you tomorrow. She did come back, maybe-
I'ld see her tomorrow at the ACC at 5:00 when I got off. Maybe I hugged
her? I doubt it, I said, "I love you' then quickly added, "always say
that to my mom before going to bed, don't you" She said, I love you
maybe? I don't remember.
She went off, I went home and lay in bed for a while, feeling very bad,
something had happend I didn't know what, I could not wait to find out
what had happend, I decided to get up and go visit- follow the feeling- I
would never have been able to sleep I put on some shoes and ran down
there, she was in her room, talking on the phone, in a sort of happy
voice, I knocked a little, and waited, I heard her, and he'll hate me in
the morning, and not talk to me or some thing, then I knocked louder she
let me in. I talked to cara for a little- Brett had told me I could visit
her in longview, and go see Cara. She said good bye. I lay on the floor
and talked to her, tried to talk but cried a little. "I just always try
to follow my feelings" s"I think that's good" m"so do I"
And what was it? "not used to having someone be nice to me" I don't know,
I'm nerotic/paranoid/repressed "or say nice things, say they love me"
And how did she feel? I felt better, but did not want to leave, and I
hugged her, held her or something. I slept on the floor that night-
thought of leaving a few times, but Brett was not awake- I never really
slept, but I felt better in the morning, and it was sunny when I left, and
I went over to the ACC to check email- which I had not done for a while,
and I wrote her this:
From cleath@u.washington.edu Thu Jun 13 23:12:02 1996
Date: Fri, 31 May 1996 06:40:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: Colin Leath
Subject: love brett
Brett, I'll see you at 10:30
I'll see you in a little bit
I feel a little stupid for saying 'I'll try to see you'
I wonder how I should leave you
always hug you
always say, 'I love you'
If ever I feel bad, I'll tell you, always know I'm loving you
always feel good about yourself
I'll tell you if I feel anything is wrong
never doubt that I love you
never doubt that I love you
^that is the worst thing I could ever do
maybe you see, think you do,
love you,
Colin
Brett Brett Brett
-----
hey Brett, just have a good morning. This is an incredible thing, I never
stop being amazed. I walk around only half where I am. It's so good to
see you. say exactly what you feel and leave out all thinking process in
between feeling and saying.
{hug}
I love you,
and thanks so much for letting me stay there last night. Though I guess
you didn't really let me.
--
So I did see her after her 10:30 class, then we got a little to eat and we
lay in the grass in the hub lawn, part in the sun, the sun off her glasses
and teeth- sparkle, she's beautiful, held hands, hand on her back- in the
grass, beautiful day. She skipped a class to stay
We walked down to the ACC and hugged and she left and I worked, mind not
really there.
Met her at 5:00 or so, out in front- went to call Dana, by the marina, I
asked if brett would talk to Dana, but I just did, for a while.
Then we went to the Shabbat-
and here it gets a little bad- but wait,
I'm tired and will do the rest later, maybe some notes
night then, final, then the party that sat, then sleep, then that sunday-,
saw her that night? Help her study?
tuesday
wednesday- she left
thursday-lawn, friday, lawn and david and ashley
saturday- moving annie, and she came, and we left
sunday, bike ride, clean house, shop, lunch, nap, dinner, park,
monday- stretch- berry pick- job stuff- drum music, Bretth, Krista, bad
feeling times, and sad goodnight.
tuesday- to Portland, after run, Cara, bookstore, clean, dinner,
Cara, movie, sleep
wednesday- walk, flowers, clean, draw, wait, went to see Louis and clark,
then edgefield, then oakpark, then home, then wait, then drop off cara,
then drive, gag, talk, sad, home, then train, then here, death, death,
death, wanting to die, as I walk to home then sleep,
then wake eat read, dad's day, paint, sleep, dream, write read, clean,
xerox, bookstore, return, run, help with boat workday, swim in lake, walk
here,
this
present.
Good night and death
love,
Colin
Document 1
Article: existentialism
Text: Existentialism is the popular name of a philosophical attitude
[excised 2002-02-03]
Copyright notice: Copyright by Grolier Electronic Publishing, Inc.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
qCourses to take for Journalism primary field and new media technologies
and policy secondary field:
Admission: quarterly: completion of 200 (203)
course says:
Major requirements in cmu:
cmu 200 (203)
50cr in cmu:
30cr in primary field,
15cr secondary field
Journalism:
Required:
360(322) Beginning Newswriting and Reporting
361 Advanced Reporting and Newswriting
362(328) News Laboratory
440 Mass Media Law
468(423) Journalism Ethics
one of:
452(447) Crisis Communications <---
460(323) Special Reporting Topics req361
462 Magazine Writing
463(325) Copy Editing and Design <----
465(327) Legislative Reporting
467(422) Journalism and Literature <---
469(424) Intellectual Foundations of American Journalism <----
489 Ethnicity, Gender, and Media
one class each in:
economics: econ 200
american gov't (politics?): POL S XXX or HIST? perhaps?
us history: (ap?)American AP- HSTAA 201 (5 credits)
AP-4-
Secondary Fields:
CMU200, 5 credits at the 300-level and 10 credits at the 400 level.
Minor Requirements: A minimum of 25 credits, including CMU200, one
300-level course
and two 400-level courses.
15cr in New Media Technologies and Policy
req:
CMU 300 Basic Concepts of New Media
Provides a comprehensive examination of the effects of
new, digital media on interpersonal communication, media
industries and media culture. Emphasis is on economic,
social, political and aesthetic implications. The class
will provide limited experience with computer-based
media, but no prior technical or computer experience is
assumed.
CMU 301 Navigating Information Networks
Builds familiarity with computer-mediated information
networks. It introduces and compares network search
engines, agents, browsing/viewing tools and
retrieval/transfer software for use by reporters and
other media workers. Instruction and practice with
searching/acquiring information, its analysis and
interpretation, and finally illustration and write-up.
remaining credits in:
CMU 400 History of Media Technologies and Regulation
The impact of pre-1980's media technologies - printing,
telecommunications, broadcasting, photography, and more
- on individuals and institutions, especially
government, business and the mass media. How laws and
policies have changed to govern new media forms.
Kielbowicz
CMU 401 Telecommunication Policy and Convergent Media
Examines contemporary media and telecommunications
industries since 1980 and their accelerating
convergence. Attention is given to economic, policy and
mass use issues. Review of major industry leaders,
promising technologies and new services. Social issues,
government initiatives and new legislation are covered
for both North American and International markets. Bowes
CMU 402 Virtual Communities
Technologically-mediated virtual communities will be
considered through an analysis of historical precedents
and influences, and through an exploration of the
concept of community. Issues include a focus on social
interactions; the social, political, economic, and
technological contexts of virtual communities, and the
limits for their sustenance. Gromala bibliography
CMU 403 Visual Literacy
An overview of how we apprehend, interpret and
understand visual content of traditional and evolving
media forms. Emphasized is the analytic methods, the
aesthetic characteristics of media forms, and how
visuals are utilized and understood. Several
perspectives are considered, including historical,
cultural and critical. Gromala
CMU 404 New Media Criticism
Examines critically the content of new media forms,
contrasting them with traditional media. Stresses
influences of social, economic, political and
technological forces on content, and developing
strategies for critical analysis. Prerequisite: CMU 301
or instructor's permission. Gromala
or the following cross listed courses:
427 CMU-427 International Communications Law and Policy
440 Mass Media Law
445 Communication Theory
451 Mass Media and Culture
463 Copy Editing and Design
489 Ethnicity, Gender, and Media
APPENDIX:
course(old) says:
Major Requirements: 10 credits from courses in literature; 35 credits in
the general education category, Individuals & Societies, (courses to be
selected from anthropology, economics, geography, history, philosophy,
political science, psychology, and sociology), including at least 20
credits in one department and 20 credits in courses at the 300 and 400
levels; core requirements of 45 credits within the school, to include the
following: CMU 203, 315, 320; two additional communications courses at the
400 level (excluding CMU 498); and one of the following areas of study:
Advertising-CMU 340, 341, 344, 345; Broadcast Journalism-CMU 350, 356,
358; Editorial Journalism-CMU 322, 328; Public Relations-CMU 300, 330,
339.
A Media Studies option is also offered and requires CMU 201, 202, 203,
310, 410, and an appropriate number of 400-level communications courses to
equal 45 credits in the school.
POL-S classes, which possible?:
POL-S-202 Introduction to American Politics
Institutions and politics in the American political system.
Ways of thinking about how significant problems, crises,
and conflicts of American society are resolved politically.
Offered: AWSpS.
POL-S-304 The Press and Politics in the United States
Journalists' role in elections and public policy.
Relationship
between news coverage and political campaigns. Study and
analysis of local political newswriting, reporting, and
response by local and state political figures. Extensive
off-campus experience included. Offered: jointly with CMU 304.
pol-s 305 The Politics of Mass Communication in America <----
Role of mass audiences in politics from the standpoint of the
communication strategies used to shape their political
involvement. Topics include: social structure and political
participation, political propaganda and persuasion, the
political uses of public opinion, and the mass media and
politics.
POL-S-319 American Political Thought II <---
Major thinkers and themes in American political and cultural
development from the Civil War to the present.
POL-S-310 The Western Tradition of Political Thought, Modern
Course Desc.: Continuation of 308 and 309, focusing on material from the
eighteenth through twentieth centuries, from Rousseau
through Lenin. Recommended: 201.
POL-S-351 The American Democracy
Democratic theory; constitutional theory; the Presidency; Congress; the
Supreme Court; civil rights and civil liberties. Designed for nonmajors.
Recommended: 202 or equivalent.
CMU-200 Introduction to Mass Communication
CMU-300 Basic Concepts of New Media
CMU-301 Navigating Information Networks for Mass Media
CMU-304 The Press and Politics in the United States
CMU-320 Global Communication
CMU-321 Communications in International Relations
CMU-340 History of Mass Communication
CMU-341 Government and Mass Communications
CMU-342 Media Structure
CMU-343 Effects of Mass Communication
CMU-360 Beginning Newswriting and Reporting
CMU-361 Advanced Reporting and Newswriting
CMU-362 News Laboratory
CMU-363 Communication Internship
CMU-382 Introduction to Communication Research
CMU-400 History of Media Technology and Regulation
CMU-401 Telecommunication Policy and Convergent Media
CMU-402 New Media as Virtual Communities
CMU-403 Visual Literacy for Mass Communication
CMU-404 New Media Criticism
CMU-418 Issues in Mass Communication
CMU-420 Comparative Media Systems
CMU-421 Intercultural Communication
CMU-422 Culture in International Communications Research
CMU-423 Communications and Development
CMU-424 Canadian Media Systems
CMU-425 European Media Systems
CMU-426 International Media Images
CMU-427 International Communications Law and Policy
CMU-428 Asian Media Systems
CMU-429 Chinese Communications Systems
CMU-440 Mass Media Law
CMU-441 United States Media History
CMU-442 Public Opinion and the Mass Media: Processes and
Methods
CMU-443 Advertising and Society
CMU-444 Public Relations and Society
CMU-445 Communication Theory
CMU-447 Theory and Criticism of Broadcasting
CMU-448 Advertising Process and Effects
CMU-449 Public Information Campaigns
CMU-450 Communications and Consumer Behavior
CMU-451 Mass Media and Culture
CMU-452 Crisis Communications
CMU-453 Children and Electronic Media
CMU-454 Problems in Communication Research
CMU-460 Special Reporting Topics
CMU-462 Magazine Writing
CMU-463 Copy Editing and Design
CMU-467 Journalism and Literature
CMU-468 Journalism Ethics
CMU-469 Intellectual Foundations of American Journalism
CMU-489 Ethnicity, Gender, and Media
CMU-498 Problems of Communications
.