Sat 24 Aug 1996 09:00
I went to row this morning and there is another person to look at, Rebecca. She's nice.

I hope that with some of these people we can come together and see eachother more often. Perhaps we could all play tennis together. thanks for the institution and practice of this social sport.

I am still thinking where I am going with these people, and I hope it is forever. To see them and to be able to speak to them always.

I went into the bookstore today and saw all of my friends. These are the people who have questions, and if the books are an indice, we are changing, as people see. The ask questions of conciousness and meaning. Conciousness explained by D-, A brief history of everything, thomas moore's stuff, All about the same questions.

Though I go to the paved mall, and see that little has changed for a lot of people, but these, people, will have kids, and they will wonder.

I really want to get to be with a woman for a life time. I don't know why. I see they question just as much. I don't know why or if I do.

I imagine a future going on, Questioning like this and going further always, but I know, it is the people who make the greatest difference, and I fear the surface relations with the people around me.

I am trying hard to keep it normal, to treat her like I would Zach, so I think of how I would ask him and then ask her. This allows me to interact.

It is so sad that we must have this tennis, if we do, to come together. If we could play tag or other games or any games or no games.

Loving is giving, then what is best to give.

What is the best we can be doing for eachother when we are together. I had a good talk with Mike today. You're going to hate me for this, but I would guess he has some sadness too. He is the kind we need, he doesn't drive, he walks, and his work is exploring, is questions.

Seems we can preoccupy ourselves a little. And with Sara, what was that. Yes, negative, so I'd say, poor example. Follow.

What is the most we can give?

And there are many who seem to focus a lot on the consciousness only. Kindness and compassion.

I came home and I wished I had one of these people to talk to. I came home and I wished I had people to preoccupy me. People to care for, I guess, to ask how they're doing, to hear about how they are.

when we are together all the time, we have less of a difference, we know the feeling of the other as she feels it, if she tells us. We are there with so much of her time. We know so much of how her day is. Maybe that is why my dad can listen to endless stories about mom's work because he loves to love her, to listen to her. But we kids know it is to pass the time.

How can we stay vital? Not only when we are doing the routine discovering of the characteristics. That can be dry. Even then. How can we stay vital. I need Stephanie or Kristen, or Rebecca or surprise Lise, Molly who knows to call me, and I expect they need me to call them. The tech.

It is not the calling even, it is the being with. I need to be with these people to love them. Not exactly always, but Somehow like that.


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