Thu 29 Aug 1996 12:00
The actress hasn't learned the lines you'd like to hear.

Did I see you biking after practise?

I should not think it's only me. The stuff I have to say is useless unless said to you.

Separation anxiety.

I am o.k. because I will see you again today...

Communion

The patterns of the sprinklers,
constant change.

rainbows and mist.

show her the copy

I wanted to see

I have the idea again and it will loose her

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Thu 29 Aug 1996 20:00
This is not fun. One of the most painful tough times of my life. Separation anxiety from this person. If I can talk to her about it I will be cured, but I have to wait. For her to return my phone call, or whatever.

the bottling up of emotions.

It is strange that I must talk to her to unbottle my emotions, or to get this stuff out.

Writing it here does no good, and describing the situation and my emotion to denise would not change the percieved situation with you at all.

So I wait, and because tactile (as well as olfactory, auditory, and .

and because of some strange reason, I feel a heaviness an oppression in my chest between the belly button and the breasts, though mostly right below, the breasts. It is very annoying, and makes it difficult (or something else does) to not think of you.

Especially earlier, when I was rowing, and when I was waiting, this feeling became intolerable and I lapsed into the darkest of despair.

This is so wonderful. This keeps happeining to me, I need to learn to do something earlier before these feelings get so bad with beautiful people like you.

But there is a difficulty in doing that as well.

If this pain is necessary, that is ridiculous. Well, what are you up to now? 8:48

love,
Colin


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