Thu 04 Jul 1996 23:50

Remember the guy with the hat on his head, tilted, eyes slits, 
dancing to the jam by moving his head, right arm and upper body. 
Left arm in pocket. Blue nylon jacket, bag jeans, bleach shave hair, 
a twist of it long.

Denise came- this is life. It is good not being in love because I don't 
feel so bad about finding others and talking with them, leaving her 
alone. Still love. Stopped by ACC, and saw Matt, poor guy cause 
working so much- at the same time I wish I could be like him and 
have the friends he has- The two I've known I've loved. And I see 
some, I should not say, like him, one today burning a little flag. It 
burns well.

Blue hair ben came from upstairs, and we went on along the shining 
path, and stopped at Ivars, so he could eat. The wetsuit people. And 
I think I saw Arachne, I did see her, I am not sure of her name, 
though darn it, she knows mine- and I've asked her before, and I still 
am not sure.

Then we went there and found a spot on a hill of bodies with one star 
of halogen light above a steaming living crowd. A religious alien 
scene. So many bodies. The silhoette, the halo of light. This is show.

Fireworks, sure, turn around and see them in the glasses of the 
crowd. The faces change with the colors of the sky, 
       looking up.

Met Heschem too- thanking me for getting his name right, and ben 
takes to talking to denise in a funny way, the way he spins around as 
we walk up the hill. It is good to see Heshem again, but Denise tells 
me later I looked trapped when I saw him, how can this be that I 
look not how I feel, or I look how she feels.

And good night.

I will right and letter to the editor about Paysha's "Why I hate the 
Fourth of July" dont know I'll say, but something.

I remember penny's aquarium-light the animals swimming around 
the rectangular room.

Love, I miss you- If you were here tonight, I would have nothing to 
write, I would have something to write, maybe, I don't really now, I 
would not write, because I would be with you, what would you do? 
You would be doing something funny I'm sure, no doubt working on 
creation, or just being. Just being. Waht of fur works. I don't think. 
they do
Fine, but no-thing spiritual good to be with Denise and Ben, though I 
must say, more Ben than, so,