Tue 24 Sep 1996 14:40
The finling picture

There is in all of this a larger feeling, a more encompassing perception
and unless I find it always, active in my mind, I, and the whole world, every thing I know, is
lost
for that time.

I find it when I concentrate on the uniqueness of my experience, I can lose it
as I turn my view to
the more general.

Finling, it seems, will take this all away.

What is it? Who is she? What does she say, right, now?

How can I stay, with, her.

Soul-ful, moor like

There is not a very clearness here, and I don't see, where, the haziness ends.

There is my own self,

and a quiet friend.

My memories of

She, this, is all, the perception.

And, dear, and,

and as I go on, I will stay quiet here, with her,

and let she- all move around me

a stream flows around the rock.

I will live and die, and may my living be good and happy living, good, happy

She-all will live and die, and may her living be good and happy, may she say,
when she goes, I have been glad to be here,
I have been glad to know you,
I have been glad
to be here with you.
I am glad to be here with you,
I love you, I love you,
and soon, I must go.
soon,
I must go.

She is a fine thing, she is very fine.

And there is, through all this,
a desre a desre
desre
Desre

desire without the I

a desre, sometimes, for what cannot be, and if, if she will leave it,
see she as she is.

There are an infinite
who are not glad now.
she is, a few who are.

I will, will float a long,
I will, will make the promise

I must work for her

and how?

To be there for the times in the fall, madeline L'engle

meditating there on the rock over the lake.

To be there, at those times, in this time.

To spend the days playing like a kid with you, because you do still know her,
playing, she will, she will because she can,
all day, all the time.

To be there, those times, a rock,on the hill above the lake, on a fall-colored
hill side.

To know, to know we know the place, where she lives, and who she is.

Quietly aware.

I see your bright faces and we know we know
she is meant, to be here, with us, together,

and we are meant to share ourselves quietly together.

I know she needs the people; I know she needs the place.

Might she, might you dear, know

where one is,
and the other too?

Seeming unlikely that the best and quietest of her friends would condemn themselves
to the noise, the hard un loving ground, and dis, dis ruption of.

That is, that is, Mollie, you know, you know, Mollie,
she feels how it is.

Then, then, where is the place for us?
and why, so why, cannot we tell the world somehow,

or is

is.

You've found if for yourself perhaps, and the rest of the world is gone still.

You have, and the kids are still screaming, un loved, the older people too.

they will stop screaming as they die, but not before another person hears, or another
learns the tune

as they die,

the whole may go on irrespective of her cells, irrespective of a few, or a hell of a lot, of
screaming cells,
the whole will go on.

What has made you a happy cell? Why are you a happy one?

the whole will go on, and your part is this. That doesn't matter, little does

oh, individual

what does she need?

a good part of our activity to bring us in contact with the desired stimuli, desired stimuli,

and, once I know     

Suppose I can be continually, for a great time happy.

Suppose I am,

Suppose I know why.

Suppose many people want to be loving all,
and are not.

Suppose these, elles would listen to themselves, and ask, suppose they would. Suppose I
would. Suppose

they would talk about their needs with the others around them,
and do what they needed to take care of eachother,

suppose they could get an accurate perception of what it is to be, to be
filled, as she is,

to study life,
to study happiness,
and the abscence of

and why study any more

can we, lover, with what we know now,

make it now..


Oh, dear what wonderful questions, suppose suppose suppose I might know a way.

the only way for the others is
is to

ask the question, if she needs to,

are you happy to be as you are?

I am as I am,

and fuck so many are not,

I may as well be.

I may as well be, if I can.

let us all, give it, give her, a try. Feel around, and maybe I will know her, some occasions.

love.

Colin

9898298
lost Cowlie, amy,
etc.

sad

.