The Official Keith FAQ

 Like any good faq, the first question usually is, what is Keith
and what's this FAQ for?

The answer: its of no point. Make a bookmark to another useless page with the ultimate in uselessness of html. I mean, I tried to use as little html as I could. I hope I can get this page into some sort of cool site of the day.. I can garuntee I will probably never update this page, so you can always be sure to find it right where it is.

My hobbies:

Where I work:

 Well I used to work at Target.. and before that I was a paperboy for
the Daily Olympian and Seattle Times.  But recently I secured a position working
for the highly acclaimed C&C Computer department at the U of Washington.
Pretty neat huh?  Not really.. Its not all that neat.  I would show you 
what it looks like on a constantly updated html or java file, but I don't have
the time or energy to do that.  You should check out some other pages on 
the net if you are into cool stuff.  I'm just not all that cool I guess. 
I work, I sleep, I use my computer to do homework.. other than that, I do my 
school work.. oh well, at least I'm on Zhenya's Homepage for being an interesting 

Hey Keith, what classes are you taking?

Well I really don't have many friends, so nobody really asks me this
question, but I'm sure you want to know right?  Sure you do.. its so interesting
.. and I'm just such an interesting guy:


Pretty Soon you'll be able to check out my grades (as soon as I get them).. you'll see just how smart I am.. muahahah.

Winter 96

Pretty lame huh?  I don't have much of a life, I take low brainer classes 
and expect my fellow peers to look up to me.  I'm sorta the anti-X generation
.. and that's wierd too because I have a friend off IRC that calls himself
antix.. strange huh?  There should be a tv show on Fox about me and my red
headed girlfriend.. we could do all these strange things and visit strange
places like sewers and stuff.  And since I think there are aliens who
visit this planet, I'm sure that a few of the episodes could be about
the little greys that I see in my sleep every once in a while.  I guess
since I'm such an anti-x guy, they could call it the X-something.. 
I guess the something would be files because it sounds cool.
X-files.. does sorta have a ring to it doesn't it.. I could call myself
Fox since it would be on the Fox network.  
UPDATE!i (12/15/95): I found out that the X-Files show already exists. Too bad, I could have been cool, like my friend Kenneth. He's so neat. He has such a fun page, you might even be able to play a game if you're lucky. I tried to apply to the CSE department but they wouldn't let me in. However, the Math department allows you to get in with a 2.0, so I'm going to try to beg them to let me in with a 1.2.. I might be able to do it. My parents are getting ticked that I'm such a slacker. I don't do anything anymore but sleep. I missed one of my finals and almost missed another, but in that one I just turned in an empty paper because I didn't have a clue what to do on it.. (it was Calc I).. my other final I failed, but that's ok. I'm cool like that, I can handle a 1.2.. no problem, in fact businesses are looking for people like me to mop their floors and clean their toilets.. a computer game has even been made about me!! Actually its a series about me in the future, maybe you've heard about it, Space Quest!

How smart are you Keith?

 I'm stupid.. very stupid.  Well at least I think so.  And my co-workers
think so.. they're always saying "You're so stupid Keith.. get a clue"
and I'm always saying "What did I do?"  I just don't get it sometimes.
You can obviously tell I'm not that bright.. I mean, look, I've got
absolutely nothing cool or k-rad about this me.html file.. no graphics,
no, well maybe a few links here or there.. no sounds, no guest book to sign,
no email to send me.. nothing.  Just a ton of stupid paragraphs trying
to tell you what kind of person I am...  I thought maybe I could put
up some kind of form to show you my grades on my assignments and so forth, 
and thought, maybe that would kind of be worthwhile.  But it's not really..
I figured I don't need to show people my grades. They'll hate me for who
I am besides the fact that I'm stupid.  

Why the U Keith.. WHY?

Well I'm planning on majoring in compe, but I don't think I'll be able
to get in.. its just way to damned hard to get in nowadays. sure, I could
be like that kenneth guy who apparently works with me, I guess his page
is somewhere on weber.. but I'm not as bright as him.. I mean, look at his
homepage.. its full of neat stuff.. he even says that he likes html
because of all the cool things he can do with it.. wow. he's cool.  Some
guys just don't get it do they?  Whats the point of having a "neat" homepage
full of useless stuff when you can have an almost entire document of
text without all that jazzy html code that makes you look like an conceited
asshole.. anyways.. I wanted to do the CompE thing, but since I probably
won't get in, I won't really worry about it.  Maybe I'll major in Mathematics
or computer science..  who knows.. I could always be like that Wei guy on
Zheniya's page who's ripping crypto code from other people and putting it
all into one big library basically taking credit for it.  K0d35 are meant
to be broken.. 

Keith, you always look like a freak when you get to school.

Damned straight I do.  I have to ride my bike four friggin miles
to get to school.. You know what that does to my complexion and hair?
I mean, give me a break, I'm always wearing sweat pants and stuff because
its like 30 degrees to start with and the wind chill factor knocks my
internal temperature down to like -2 degrees celcius.. Whats the deal with
ripping on me so much?!

Keith, what kind of name is Keith?

Ask my parents.. I hate it too.

What kind of food do you like?

hahah.. I love food, that's why I'm such a fat freak show... check out my picture on my index page..

Don't you like anything else besides the hobbies listed above?

Well you can check out my Bob Larson Fan club homepage.. clickithere

How can I email you?

Figure it out for yourself.. if you can't do that, then you can't email me.

Can I ask you questions about computers since you work at the computer labs on campus?

Of course not.. what do you think I am.. I don't have any extra time to be bothering with you.

Keith, will you ever get a real job?

Probably not, but good question. I can show you someone who will though... that person's name is Kenneth.. read above.. and check out Zhenya's homepage to find his name.. I'm sure he'll be rich one day while I wallow in self-pity.

Keith, I would like to donate some money to you.

Join the club.

How much time did you spend writing this homepage. it sucks.

Yeah it does, glad you hate it. Took me about an hour to come up with useless questions.