Sat 17 Aug 1996 20:00
LATE
I start to type and I stop feeling
Kristen, you are such a beautiful person. It is so good to be around you.
and I create my experience and I write my future and I do nothing.
If it were not for the stuff I have to do, these theories, I would be
laying here dreaming, feeling. Watching the insect suspended from the
ceiling, hearing the breeze in the leaves and thinking of one her or
another. The actress, and recently the woman's friend.
What is best of all is that I have no comprehension of the world around
me. I have no understanding. I have failed to construct a coherent view
of existence. I know what means the most to me and it is, all these
women. Not the men. The women, and I love them all. Everything I do, I
do for them, and they come and they go and that is how it always will
be. What is best of all is I have no comprehension of why. Of why she
is the one who gives me meaning, of why it is woman. I know we both
want, and I know we don't know what we want. Even, an animal is no
substitute for a person, an animal is a companion, but why, why not
yourself, and I have no answer. Your way is the right way, as is mine.
Don't forget the human, you can still be lonely with a dog. What a
problem. Why did I say. Lose your dog and look at yourself and look at
me. Loose your religion and look at your world.
So we do what may feel right, but is it best. A dog, a pet is to me a
poor substitue for the human to focus on, and involves a sort of
strangeness. Mike said, unconditional love. I said, is it ethical to
have a pet. I meant is it beautiful, aesthetic, is it moral, is it
life, and you cannot say. Know the question.
.